Evangelization!

The primary mission of the Catholic Church is to be evangelistic; to evangelize. I would have to say that this is almost easy to do as a missionary in another country. Whether it be on the beach, or the water taxi or in the classroom, someone usually asks why I’m in San Pedro. When they hear I am not vacationing, but working in Belize as a full-time missionary for the Catholic Church, many questions usually arise about Church teaching and morals and we end up talking for quite a while. For example, last week I got on the water taxi to come back to San Pedro, and it was about a two-hour ride. I sat next to a man who was holding a little baby. It turns out that he was on his way home to San Pedro after a three week stay in Belize because his 9 month old baby had pneumonia and almost died. I noticed two little girls sitting next to him who were smiling at me and giggling. I asked them if they went to the primary school on San Pedro and as they nodded I recalled being in their classroom last week. We also lead music for Mass with them every other week. Next to the girls was their mom, who I assumed was this man’s wife. I told this man what a joy it is to teach the children and how excited they were for the Mass they were helping with. He started to say that He doesn’t go to Church and hasn’t been in about 10 years, but he needs to go back. We talked about the importance of going to Mass to give God thanks and praise, especially for healing his son from pneumonia! I told him how beautiful his girls are and how important it is for them to see their father going to Church and praying. They need that good example to follow. He nodded and smiled. As we continued to talk, he told me that two of the children are his and one is not, that he is living with this woman, but they are not married. I asked him what was keeping him from marrying her, and he said he’s just not sure yet, he wants to make sure that she’s the right one. I asked him why he had kids with this woman if he was not planning to spend the rest of his life with her. He had no answer. I could tell that he really loves these children, and as frustrating as this situation is, it is the norm for many Belizean families. It is typical to see a family of six or eight kids with one mom and three dads.

This man, after a few minutes asked me if I had children. I proceeded to tell him that I do not have children and do not plan on having a family until I get married. We talked about the importance of kids having a mom and dad who are in love with each other and able to love their kids well. I also mentioned how important it is to me to marry someone who is following the Lord and trying to grow in holiness and faithfulness to Christ. As John Paul II has said, when the two become one, a goal in loving one another should be in order get one another to heaven. By loving God first and asking the Lord to love through us, we grow in holiness. We talked more about the good examples children need in their mom and dad, so they can be formed well. He went on to ask me if I have slept with anyone, and I told him, no, that my virginity is something I am saving for my future spouse alone, and that this is something I will give in the context of marriage after God blesses that marriage through the sacrament of matrimony. His mouth dropped! He looked at me very seriously and said “what do you mean, you never had sex?” And I repeated, that the gift of my virginity is something I am saving for my future spouse alone within the context of marriage. My sexuality is a beautiful gift that is meant for my future spouse and only for that one spouse. After a long pause he said, “Courtney, people like you do not exist”. I smiled and said, “Well, there are three other girls right over there in the same boat that feel this way, and I come from a school where many people live this way.” I proceeded to tell him what Catholics believe about marriage, the conjugal act and the family. I was thankful that last fall in Austria, I took a class on Christian Marriage!

I was able to share with him what a gift our human sexuality is, and how beautiful it can be! To be able to give oneself fully to another through the sexual act is beautiful when it is done out of love alone for that person, and not just seeking pleasure. It is the giving of your whole self to someone, meant for that one person you are meant to become one with and spend the rest of your life with. There is such a bond that is formed, a joining, that is only meant to be with one person. God created Adam and Eve and said ’Be fertile and multiply’…he gave them to each other, blessed their relationship and then allowed them to have children. There was no Adam and Eve and Shirley, and Jane and there were only children in the picture AFTER the Lord blessed it. It was just Adam and Eve and when they were joined, they were not meant to separate. I mentioned how the purpose of sex is a gift and is meant to be a sign of love, but in society today we see it abused and used in such selfish ways, finding pleasure selfishly, rather than giving oneself to another as a gift and sign of love! It forms a union that is only meant to happen in the context of marriage blessed by God, for the two to become one. As we talked about the bond that comes through giving of oneself sexually this man nodded his head in agreement. He admitted that this bond becomes weaker and weaker the more you sleep with other women. It becomes less and less meaningful, the more you do it with different people. He was amazed that my sexuality was a gift I was saving for my future spouse alone. What a beautiful gift to give your future spouse; the gift of your virginity as a sign of your love. Marriage has two main purposes the Church teaches: the procreation of children and the loving of the beloved as an end in themselves. The idea of birth control and contraception goes against this, if the purpose of marriage is procreation as well! To give of oneself in this way is saying “I love you so much that I want to give myself to you, and I love you so much that I want to have children with you that are like you”. Is this not beautiful? I really believe this man got off the water taxi thinking a lot more about his actions and what he was saying by living with this woman and having children when he wasn’t sure if he was going to marry her.

We pray all the time for purity on this island and for a greater awareness of chastity. It is amazing to see the doors God can open through conversation, just by letting our lives be a witness and create questions. This man was very open and responsive, and agreed with a lot of what I said. I told him I will be looking for him at Mass on Sunday and will give a constant invitation whenever I see him! God is Good!

Scorpions!

Scorpions, scorpions... Thank God I did not know they actually exist on San Pedro, until recently... A cute little story to say the least...I think God has protected us once again. The little apartment we live in is owned by a woman named Mrs. Villanueva. She has many businesses all over San Pedro and Belize and also owns a distributing company. She comes to San Pedro only once a month and stays just one night to collect from those she's distributing goods to. We had the privilege of spending a night with her and her daughter last week. She's such a sweet woman. And is so generous to just give us her apartment to live in for free. She was very concerned for our protection the whole time she was here and just wanted to make sure we were safe. The last thing she told me as she was leaving was, "Courtney, whatever you do NEVER take the drain cover off the floor of the bathtub." I proceeded to ask why, and she explained that when the water goes on and down the drain, it attracts scorpions. She went on to tell me a story about her nephew taking a shower and up the drain comes scorpions and he jumped out screaming... I just about stopped breathing, since our whole first month here we did not have a drain cover and Ann went out and bought one just the day before Mrs. Villanueva arrived! When I told her this, she just started laughing and said "oh my goodness, God is protecting you, I can't believe no scorpions came up this whole time!" Mind you, Alison and I have both even stuck our hand down this drain to clean it!!! Needless to say I have dreams now of scorpions coming into the house through our shower. The drain cover has not been removed since! If you click on Ali's mission website under missionary links, she has a nice picture of what a scorpion looks like if anyone's interested!

As far as other things are concerned, this past week I have been spending a lot of time preparing for Confirmation. There are over a hundred standard 5 (12 year olds)students right now interested in getting confirmed. The kickoff meeting is this Tuesday night from 5:30 - 6:30 PM for everyone as well as their parents. Please keep this in your prayers as I prepare to explain to them the importance of confirmation and all that it entails. We are hoping to have an all-day kickoff retreat on Sunday November 13th and classes start that very week. Please pray that the Lord really prepares their hearts to receive His Truth. Not only that he prepares their hearts for a greater outpouring of the Holy Spirit, but that they become witnesses for their entire family as well!

Praise God for His Protection!

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord, Jesus Christ! I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers. God really spared Belize and San Pedro from hurricane Wilma. We really are under the protection of Our Lady’s mantle. Ali, Alison, Ann and I just got back last night from Benque located right on the border of Guatemala and Belize. We decided on Wednesday as we saw waves crashing over the sea wall and onto the street, knowing that we still had 2 days before the hurricane was even close, that we should leave. After a very bumpy boat ride last Wednesday to the mainland, a 2 hour bus ride to Benque, and lots of prayers for protection, we took a big sigh of relief. Hurricane Wilma went to a category 5 overnight and as many of you know was the biggest hurricane to go through the Caribbean. San Pedro is located just off the southern tip of the Yucatan Peninsula and it is only by God’s Grace that the outer part of the hurricane was all we were hit with. There are definitely some missing docks and the water level was on the street at one point, and I know some of the really poor areas need rebuilding, but when all is said and done, we were spared. People work so hard here, that just three days after the hurricane you would not think a storm hit. I think they are used to quick clean up, being on an island where tourism is the main income. It is good to be back, and we are ready to persevere in planning for this year.
Yesterday, before getting the water taxi, we went to Belmopan for a Eucharistic Procession and Mass with the Bishop. John Paul II dedicated this past year to a year of the Eucharistic and the procession and Mass was for the closing of this year. It was really neat that the priests of Belize specifically chose World Mission Sunday for the closing Mass. The Bishop spoke about the need for missionaries all over the world, but most importantly in our own homes and in our own towns. He said "we must not be afraid to proclaim Christ's Truth". People will mock us, people will think we are crazy, but we cannot be afraid to be Truthful, and Jesus says himself, that the Truth will set you free! I am confident that God has called me to be a missionary in Belize for now, however I also know that we are all called to be missionaries wherever God has us. This summer the Lord called me to be a missionary living in Atlanta and nannying full-time. Mother Teresa always said that we are called to love, to serve and to evangelize the world, but it must start in our homes! I know so often that I can get caught up with what I need to do every day. When I have to go to the store even, I get pre-occupied with what I need to get and forget to notice the person next to me or the person working at the counter, and how much they need to be loved. More often than not, I get impatient waiting in lines rather than using that time as an opportunity to love those standing on my right and my left. My prayer is that the Lord will open my eyes throughout the most ordinary days to see and to love His Beloved children that are around me. I pray for all of you on world missions Sunday, that the Holy Spirit will rejuvenate you and inspire you all to carry out the Gospel message and be witnesses of Christ's Peace and Love in your daily lives!

Hurricane may touch San Pedro!

PLEASE PRAY!!!!  The outskirts of hurricane Wilma may touch San Pedro early in the morning on Friday.  The coast of Belize has been ask to move inland.  We evacuated yesterday (Wed) and are safe, however when we left waves were already getting to the street.  I can't imagine what they are like now.  We should know tomorrow afternoon how much damage.  This picture below is a picture of one of teh poorest areas on San Pedro.  It's called the 'Lagoon'.  Many Belizeans don't have money to buy land (it's all gone up b/c of the tourism) and so they build in the water. These homes you see you get to by walking in water.  The one you see a couple pictures below has at least 6 people living in it!  There are at least 100 homes out here, and this picture was taken before any rainfall!  May Mary's Mantle protect her people! 

The tourism of San Pedro versus the poverty... 

HUMILITY

St. John the Baptist was the first to say, Jesus must increase and I must decrease. More and more I am learning that humility is the only way. As I went to the choir rehearsal and saw such joy and faithfulness, and as I go to praise and worship and see people of this parish getting excited about Jesus, I am seeing more and more how it is nothing I do, but all the Lord. St. Therese of the Little Flower is my Confirmation saint and also the saint I have taken for my missionary bank account. She is also, the patron saint of missions, and I love her child-like faith and simple trust in the Lord. She saw her littleness and realized she could do nothing, but what the Lord did Himself through her. She even dared to trust that the Lord would take her weaknesses and even her sin and transform them into something for His Glory! She talked about this great stairway to heaven that she saw all the saints climb, but said she was too weak to climb this stairway herself. Jesus in His goodness showed her that He Himself would come down from heaven, pick her up in His arms and lift her to heaven as in an elevator. How true this is! For it says in Philippians 2:5 that “Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross.”
I was leading praise and worship on Thursday at the Church and it was beautiful. I was amazed and humbled at how the Lord spoke so clearly in the Scriptures. A theme song that we have had on our hearts for this year is a song called “Blessed Be Your Name”. One of the verses goes, “Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering, those there’s pain in the offering blessed be your name. Every blessing you pour down I’ll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your holy name.’” How hard it really is to Praise the Lord when we are suffering and when there are so many difficulties in our lives. I mean so often I forget to thank Him for all that He gives and when I am struggling, I may cry out for help, but to Praise Him in my struggling? I think when all is said and done, it is hard to give Him praise when we are suffering. So often I try and do it on my own, and what I realized we need to do is admit that we’re weak and can’t do it on our own. “The Lord says, His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts!” So of course we don’t understand how to praise Him amidst suffering! We need His Grace to praise, and we need Mary to praise through us and increase out Trust. “For when we are weak, then He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).
The end of the song is “you give and take away, you give and take away, our hearts will choose to say, Lord Blessed be your name!” It is true, that the Lord gives and takes away. He gives life and takes life, He allows us to be in one place and/or one job for a time, and then closes the door and opens another somewhere else. He brings people and loved ones in and out of our life etc. This can be a scary thought. At any time, the Lord can give and take away. As we continued to sing, though, I realized, that yes the Lord gives and he takes away, but He takes away, EVERYTHING BUT HIMSELF! He is always present, whether we recognize him or not, He is always intimately present, and I can still receive Him daily in the Holy Eucharist, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity! What a consolation this is! He is always standing at the door of our hearts, knocking (as John Paul II so often said), just waiting to be invited more deeply into our lives.
I am starting to organize this year’s confirmation program. The kickoff meeting for all parents and children is November 1st. Please keep this in your prayers, it is a lot more work than I thought, but it is very exciting!

As I said, we are very happy to now have Ann Benage with us!  The four missionaries are finally all in San Pedro.  From Left to Right, it's me, Ali Robezolli, Ann Benage and Alison Griswold.

So, Abel one of the parishioners took us snorkeling last week to Shark-Ray alley.  Can you believe I jumped in the water with sharks and rays?  Okay, okay they were just nurse sharks, and they don't bite, but still...I actually pet one...

God is Faithful and things are starting!

Peace of Christ be with all of you! Things are certainly starting to fall into place here in San Pedro! Just last night we had our first choir rehearsal and I was amazed at the turn out and eagerness of those who showed up. We had over 10 people ages 8 to 35 and they all stressed that they love to sing and want to use these gifts to give Glory to the Lord. Ali and I are excited to pray with this group of people and teach them more about the Lord. I think we have a lot to learn from them too.
I also met a girl last night named Mary. I was sitting on a dock taking some prayer time and I just really felt the Lord inviting me to start a conversation. Mary was very eager to talk. She is 22 years old and she grew up in a little village in Belize with no running water, and no electricity. When she was 8 years old her older sister almost died from heart problems. She was taken to New York and survived, but because of this Mary was pulled out of school by her dad and brought here to San Pedro. She has not been in school since then, and now at 22 she is living at home and cannot get a job because she has no high school degree. She has trouble reading too and because of this can’t even get into high school to try and get a degree. She doesn’t have any friends here, she said, and comes out to this dock for about two hours every night to just sit. She said her home is boring, but here on the dock, looking out at the water is what makes her happy. I told her that once I know my schedule, I will see if we can meet once a week and I will help her learn to read. I invited her to praise and worship Thursday night and am excited to introduce her to the other girls I’m living with. It will be a blessing to hang out with Mary when we can. Please keep her in your prayers as she learns to read and hopefully get into High School.
There is a hunger for worship here on San Pedro, and as I said previously, we have started weekly praise and worship on Thursday nights before the communion service. Please pray for this as well.
I am excited to announce the arrival of our fourth and final roommate. Ann Benage is now here in Belize! She spent a year last year doing missions in Austria and her experience and love for the faith is going to be a huge witness to the people of San Pedro. We are so excited and blessed to have her here!
Jesus has been so faithful as I am adjusting to life here. His Sacred Heart is constantly pouring out Love and I am so moved by how much His heart is LONGING to love, but so few are able to receive it. There is a song that has been a great consolation and the words go like this. "My child, I love you, I love you, I love you. My child, when my heart bleeds, your heart beats. You are mine." Is that not beautiful? I don't know about you, but so easily I forget how intimate His love is, how life-giving the Lord's love is. His heart is bleeding for love of me, He hangs on that Cross for love of me. And every breath I take, every second I am living He is willing that out of His Love. So simple, so beautiful, so perfect, and yet so often I forget the basics!

I am overwhelmed at the generosity of the parishioners here on San Pedro.  We have been greeted with open arms by the lay faithful and the Lord is truly providing for us here.  Everyday at 12 noon we go to a different families� house for lunch.  It is such a blessing to have this time with different families and get to know people here.  I am amazed and humbled by the dedication of the parishioners here. They have so much hope and are eager for more, and this is renewing our faith and desire to know the Lord.  There is a hunger for praise and worship, and a hunger for the Holy Spirit and already we have started weekly prayer meetings on Thursday nights.  We didn�t even get the word out and over 30 people showed up this past Thursday.  Apparently others are spreading the word and many more are expected to come in the next week.  I think this is going to be a huge part of reviving this parish and I think it is only going to get bigger as the year goes on. 

 

Music ministry is playing a larger role than I expected down here.  Ali and I will be starting a choir at the parish for Sunday Mass.  We also are going to the schools to teach the children some music for their school masses.  It looks like I may be helping with the confirmation program which is exciting and will be starting up in the next couple weeks.  And finally, we are starting Lifeteen here.  There is very little offered for the youth here other than alcohol and drugs, so youth ministry is one of our primary goals.  We will be going to the High School this week to talk about it and our official �kickoff� date will be the first weekend of November.

 

Yes, San Pedro is beautiful and the beaches are gorgeous and I love being on the water, but being here to serve is no easy task and we need all the prayers we can get.  There is a spiritual battle going on here, and Satan does not want any ministry to take off here.  Prayer is our lifeline, and I am more convinced than ever that we are being carried by the Grace of God alone, and by the prayers of others.  As difficulties come up on San Pedro, I am reminded of what a priest told me just a week ago.  He said that only as we are on our knees before God in prayer is anything going to happen here to help the parish and people.  This is so true.  I must constantly come before the Lord, and ask Him to provide.  �Without Him we can do nothing� (John 15).  In closing I�d like to share a quote by Saint Justin Martyr.  At times it feels like there is so much to be done, and yet it is so difficult to start anything.  I am learning to just take one day at a time and surrender it to the Lord that His will is done.  This quote brings us much consolation here as we persevere through every day.  �The greatest grace God can give someone is to send him a trial he cannot bear with his own powers � and then sustain him with His grace so he may endure to the end and be saved.�  Is this not beautiful?  How often to we feel overwhelmed, like we just can�t do something, like life is too hard to handle?  Looking back on the most difficult times of my life, I see how those difficulties were essential in forming me and drawing me closer to the Lord.  Those times of trial have strengthened me and helped me to be more compassionate with others.  It is in the difficult moments that I learn to trust the Lord even more.  Coming to another country, entering into a whole new culture, and trying to be a vessel here of Christ�s love has definitely called me on to trust blindly in the Lord and in His Grace!              

This is Alison and I standing outside of our apartment.  We are so blessed to be living here.  This is far beyond anything that we hoped for! 

Alison, Fr. Paul, Ali and myself outside of San Pedro Catholic Church on Sunday.

Is this mission work or Paradise???

Broken Families, Broken Homes, and Hope in the midst of suffering!

While I was in Benque, before arriving at San Pedro Church, I spent a bit of time with Fr. Mark who is one of the SOLT (Society of Our Lady of the Trinity) priests that work there. He is such a holy and good man of God with a compassionate heart, and he really has a good ministry with those who are most broken and wounded. We began to talk about ministry with those who come from broken homes. It seems that so much of the Lord’s work is undoing all the damage that has come from abusive homes. It is not uncommon to see 6 kids living with mom and there are 3 different dads that aren’t around. Many fathers are not around because of drug and alcohol abuse. In the streets of Belize you see 1, 2 and 4 year olds running around without much supervision. Parents are out working or doing other things just to feed the kids and the kids are home by themselves a lot of the time. Kids are typically taking care of other kids. I also know of some children who are living by themselves with parents that come through once or twice a week.

For those of you who are not aware, my Senior Seminar that I spent my last semester of college researching was on "How to teach the Dignity of Human Sexuality to those who have been sexually abused". Father Mark and I began to talk about this. In the states the statistics across the board average 1 out of 4 women, and 1 out of 6 men that have been sexually abused. This includes both sexual contact and verbal sexual abuse. In Belize, Father was saying that at LEAST 50% of women have been sexually abused in a physical way. It is so sad to see teenage girls who do not understand the Dignity of their Womanhood. Women are so hurt and broken because the only attention they have received from men is in a sexual way. The biggest effect found from one who has been sexually abused is promiscuity. How can a child understand that there is a Loving Father in Heaven who has nothing but unconditional love to offer when the only example they have of a father's love is manipulative and abusive? During the last Mass at Mount Carmel High School, I began to weep for these girls who are so bound, and not free to accept themselves as Beautiful and Beloved, Redeemed Temples of the Holy Spirit.

As I talked to Father Mark, we decided that something down the road must be offered, and he asked me to speak to the teachers and to the students. Sometime in the next month or two I will be talking to the teachers about practical ways to help those who are abused come to know their dignity in Christ. I will also be talking to the women about the freedom that is possible in Christ, no matter how much we have been hurt. What a gift and blessing to be able to use the research I have done over the past 6 months to help those who are suffering here in Belize. Please pray for us here as we try to love these women who have been so hurt. Please pray for the males who do not have good examples of what it means to be a man or a father.